On Competition and the Idea of Not Applying Oneself
There are two philosophies that really bug me. Both begin with our societal concept of childhood and behavior, and both can follow us well into our adult lives. They are the idea of competition and the philosophy that kids "just need to apply themselves." I believe these two concepts are connected more than we think.
I have often shared an experience of mine that happened several years ago. Nathanael, who is now nine, was only a year or two old. I was in charge of games with the kids at a vacation Bible school. One of the games that we played involved stuffing a sock with something somewhat heavy - maybe a tennis ball, I do not remember for sure - and throwing it. The first team did the throwing. The other team was to race to get the ball first to throw it to the other team. It was a lot of fun - for the kids who could run and get to the ball first. There were some kids who could not reach the ball first, no matter how hard they tried. They just were not athletically-inclined. Some kids aren't. I was the kid who couldn't climb a rope in PE class to save my soul, so I know what it feels like. You know the kids. The ones who are always chosen last when dodge ball teams are selected. When I made the suggestion in this VBS class that the kids who did keep getting to the ball first over and over again perhaps give the ball to one of the kids who never made it first, there were statements of, "But that's not how the game's played."
Now I understand the importance of rules in games. But is it really fair that not everyone gets an equal chance? Those who could not beat the fastest runners were not getting an equal chance. But, you see, we have drilled into our kids' heads that those who cannot get there as quickly are not applying themselves. On top of that, we have taught our kids that competition is everything. We may not realize it, but we do. We push our kids to walk at least as early as the other babies are walking. We push our kids to talk, and if they're delayed, there has to be something wrong. We push our kids to ride bikes at the same age as their friends do. We push our kids into sports and are disappointed if their team loses. I have even seen 4-H parents become angry with judges if their kids get a blue ribbon instead of a purple. Everything is competition. Kids are put in reading groups at school. Everyone knows what reading group you do not want to be a part of. And everyone also knows who is in that group. If we take our kids on a group sports activity, our kids are taught to keep their concentration. If someone talks or coughs or sneezes or looks wrong, it's that other kid's fault if our kid strikes out. We push our kids do get the best of grades to get into the best of colleges to get the best of jobs. That way they can beat out the competition to get to the top faster. And we wonder why stress-related illnesses are so prevalent in our Americanized culture.
These two concepts that really bug me take the joy out of life. They pit friend against friend. They make misery a normal part of everyday life and learning. I, for one, am really sick and tired of the "every man for himself" concept. I see it all the time - in kids and adults.
I believe this competition is a temptation for many. I have to wonder if Cain felt this competition toward Abel. We often think of his sin as jealousy, but wasn't competition involved just as much? Remember his words, "Am I my brother's keeper?" Jesus taught the greatest is the one who is humble. I think of the times he rebuked his disciples for wanting to be in first-place. He even rebuked Peter when he wanted to know if John would meet the same martyr's death that he would. Paul wrote that we are to bear one another's burdens. How far competition takes us from God's will for our lives.
I have often shared an experience of mine that happened several years ago. Nathanael, who is now nine, was only a year or two old. I was in charge of games with the kids at a vacation Bible school. One of the games that we played involved stuffing a sock with something somewhat heavy - maybe a tennis ball, I do not remember for sure - and throwing it. The first team did the throwing. The other team was to race to get the ball first to throw it to the other team. It was a lot of fun - for the kids who could run and get to the ball first. There were some kids who could not reach the ball first, no matter how hard they tried. They just were not athletically-inclined. Some kids aren't. I was the kid who couldn't climb a rope in PE class to save my soul, so I know what it feels like. You know the kids. The ones who are always chosen last when dodge ball teams are selected. When I made the suggestion in this VBS class that the kids who did keep getting to the ball first over and over again perhaps give the ball to one of the kids who never made it first, there were statements of, "But that's not how the game's played."
Now I understand the importance of rules in games. But is it really fair that not everyone gets an equal chance? Those who could not beat the fastest runners were not getting an equal chance. But, you see, we have drilled into our kids' heads that those who cannot get there as quickly are not applying themselves. On top of that, we have taught our kids that competition is everything. We may not realize it, but we do. We push our kids to walk at least as early as the other babies are walking. We push our kids to talk, and if they're delayed, there has to be something wrong. We push our kids to ride bikes at the same age as their friends do. We push our kids into sports and are disappointed if their team loses. I have even seen 4-H parents become angry with judges if their kids get a blue ribbon instead of a purple. Everything is competition. Kids are put in reading groups at school. Everyone knows what reading group you do not want to be a part of. And everyone also knows who is in that group. If we take our kids on a group sports activity, our kids are taught to keep their concentration. If someone talks or coughs or sneezes or looks wrong, it's that other kid's fault if our kid strikes out. We push our kids do get the best of grades to get into the best of colleges to get the best of jobs. That way they can beat out the competition to get to the top faster. And we wonder why stress-related illnesses are so prevalent in our Americanized culture.
These two concepts that really bug me take the joy out of life. They pit friend against friend. They make misery a normal part of everyday life and learning. I, for one, am really sick and tired of the "every man for himself" concept. I see it all the time - in kids and adults.
I believe this competition is a temptation for many. I have to wonder if Cain felt this competition toward Abel. We often think of his sin as jealousy, but wasn't competition involved just as much? Remember his words, "Am I my brother's keeper?" Jesus taught the greatest is the one who is humble. I think of the times he rebuked his disciples for wanting to be in first-place. He even rebuked Peter when he wanted to know if John would meet the same martyr's death that he would. Paul wrote that we are to bear one another's burdens. How far competition takes us from God's will for our lives.
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