In Defense Of... (Why Do We Forgive?)
I had an interesting conversation yesterday about parenting and children. It began as a conversation about looking out for other people's children and evolved to also include a conversation about favoritism and defending our own children. This natural evolution occurred when we discussed protecting other people's children from danger. I stated my opinion: if I see a child (or an adult, for that matter) in danger, I will do what I can to help and protect. However, I do not believe in parenting other people's children. I have never bought into the theory that it takes a village to raise a child. I mentioned that this idea is one big reason I quit daycare several years ago.
For instance, I do not believe in correcting other people's children. If I see a child misbehaving, it is not my place to correct that child. It is up to the parent. If that child's misbehavior affects me or my children or my property, I will mention it to the parent and allow him/her to take care of it. If it involves my children, I will move my children away from any immediate danger.
I mentioned that one major problem with correcting other people's children is we often see what other people's children are doing, but not what our own are doing as well. I have had this occur several times with my own sons. I remember one very specific issue in which my younger son threw a piece of paper on the floor out of frustration. A man - a grandparent - decided to correct my son and force him to pick up the piece of paper. That did not sit well with me. You see, I saw my son throw the piece of paper on the floor, but I also saw what frustrated my son to do that. Another child had taken something of my son's without his permission and then spilled juice on that object, ruining it. Instead of yelling at the girl, my son threw the piece of paper that was in his hand onto the floor. I told this man - and the guardian of the girl - that if my son is going to be corrected, this girl needed to be corrected as well.
But that is just me. I do not correct other people's children, and I do defend my sons.
So this conversation was on my mind this morning when I was driving home from work. As I was driving, I was listening to a song on the radio about God being a Good Father. As I was listening and thinking, Matthew 6:14-15 came to mind. In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus taught, "For if you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others then your Father will not forgive your transgressions" (NIV).
So often, this Passage is used as a scare tactic - a method to fear people into forgiving others. This morning, however, I saw a different viewpoint. This Passage is not just written to just one person. It is written to all of us - to you, to me, to my neighbor, to my enemy, to your neighbor, to your enemy. God is telling all of us that He will defend His children - be it you or me or my enemy. He is not partial. He is, in a sense, saying, "I see what Kandy did, but have you forgotten what you yourself have done as well?" He says the same thing to me when I refuse to forgive. He does not show favoritism.
I have never bought into the idea that we forgive to release the offender's hold on us. That is not what the Bible teaches. We forgive to show others the grace God has shown us. I believe this conversation and this Passage show that.
For instance, I do not believe in correcting other people's children. If I see a child misbehaving, it is not my place to correct that child. It is up to the parent. If that child's misbehavior affects me or my children or my property, I will mention it to the parent and allow him/her to take care of it. If it involves my children, I will move my children away from any immediate danger.
I mentioned that one major problem with correcting other people's children is we often see what other people's children are doing, but not what our own are doing as well. I have had this occur several times with my own sons. I remember one very specific issue in which my younger son threw a piece of paper on the floor out of frustration. A man - a grandparent - decided to correct my son and force him to pick up the piece of paper. That did not sit well with me. You see, I saw my son throw the piece of paper on the floor, but I also saw what frustrated my son to do that. Another child had taken something of my son's without his permission and then spilled juice on that object, ruining it. Instead of yelling at the girl, my son threw the piece of paper that was in his hand onto the floor. I told this man - and the guardian of the girl - that if my son is going to be corrected, this girl needed to be corrected as well.
But that is just me. I do not correct other people's children, and I do defend my sons.
So this conversation was on my mind this morning when I was driving home from work. As I was driving, I was listening to a song on the radio about God being a Good Father. As I was listening and thinking, Matthew 6:14-15 came to mind. In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus taught, "For if you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others then your Father will not forgive your transgressions" (NIV).
So often, this Passage is used as a scare tactic - a method to fear people into forgiving others. This morning, however, I saw a different viewpoint. This Passage is not just written to just one person. It is written to all of us - to you, to me, to my neighbor, to my enemy, to your neighbor, to your enemy. God is telling all of us that He will defend His children - be it you or me or my enemy. He is not partial. He is, in a sense, saying, "I see what Kandy did, but have you forgotten what you yourself have done as well?" He says the same thing to me when I refuse to forgive. He does not show favoritism.
I have never bought into the idea that we forgive to release the offender's hold on us. That is not what the Bible teaches. We forgive to show others the grace God has shown us. I believe this conversation and this Passage show that.
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