Not Pretty
I remember when I was little, I would pick the brightest or boldest crayons and color as hard as I could. I would often outline the pictures in my color books in black to make them even more bold.
I remember my mother would get so frustrated with me. "It's ugly when you color that dark. Let me show you the right way to color." She would then take the crayon and gently color the picture on the page adjacent to mine. "Doesn't that look better?" It would be even better if I used pastel colors, because pastels are "prettier" than the dark colors.
I would nod, even though I really did not think so. I liked the boldness, the brightness of pressing the reds and blues and blacks and yellows harder and allowing the colors to explode, but I did it the way she wanted me to do it. But I did it anyway, because I knew better than to disagree.
Last night, I was talking with someone about a song. She used the term "pretty" to describe the song. It kind of hit me then - something I have been thinking about for a while now, actually. I do not like something just because it is pretty or cute. It has to be bold. It has to be meaningful. It has to have a meaningful purpose for me to like it (whatever it is). I've mentioned before I love Bohemian decor in my house. Why? Because "every corner tells as story," as I saw somewhere - probably on Pinterest. It's not because it's pretty or it looks nice. It's because it tells a story. I love wearing bright makeup because it's bold. It's not just to make me look pretty (sometimes it probably doesn't). I like to make a statement with the clothes I wear. They have to say what I believe or what I am feeling. If I like a song, it's either because the music is bold and exciting or because the lyrics are extremely meaningful to me. Same with movies. I do not just like "good movies." I don't care if the movie is considered good or bad, if it has a meaning that I can relate to. The Scarlet Letter has always been my favorite book because I can so relate to both of the main characters. I'm not into prettiness or cuteness. Real is what is really beautiful to me. Beautiful is so much more nuanced than pretty.
I remember my mother would get so frustrated with me. "It's ugly when you color that dark. Let me show you the right way to color." She would then take the crayon and gently color the picture on the page adjacent to mine. "Doesn't that look better?" It would be even better if I used pastel colors, because pastels are "prettier" than the dark colors.
I would nod, even though I really did not think so. I liked the boldness, the brightness of pressing the reds and blues and blacks and yellows harder and allowing the colors to explode, but I did it the way she wanted me to do it. But I did it anyway, because I knew better than to disagree.
Last night, I was talking with someone about a song. She used the term "pretty" to describe the song. It kind of hit me then - something I have been thinking about for a while now, actually. I do not like something just because it is pretty or cute. It has to be bold. It has to be meaningful. It has to have a meaningful purpose for me to like it (whatever it is). I've mentioned before I love Bohemian decor in my house. Why? Because "every corner tells as story," as I saw somewhere - probably on Pinterest. It's not because it's pretty or it looks nice. It's because it tells a story. I love wearing bright makeup because it's bold. It's not just to make me look pretty (sometimes it probably doesn't). I like to make a statement with the clothes I wear. They have to say what I believe or what I am feeling. If I like a song, it's either because the music is bold and exciting or because the lyrics are extremely meaningful to me. Same with movies. I do not just like "good movies." I don't care if the movie is considered good or bad, if it has a meaning that I can relate to. The Scarlet Letter has always been my favorite book because I can so relate to both of the main characters. I'm not into prettiness or cuteness. Real is what is really beautiful to me. Beautiful is so much more nuanced than pretty.
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