Who I Really Am
I have shared of my recent struggle with lack of creativity. I am happy to report, with an eighteen-day vacation from my work (of which I still have four days left), I have been able to delve back into my creative mode. I have written what I consider to be some of the best scenes for my novels. I have not limited myself, my characters, or their experiences.
Creativity is about being open to experimentation. It is about being free from worry about mistakes. It is about getting away from ideas of how things supposedly should be.
I believe that has been my problem.
I spent the summer engaged in my college thesis, which, believe it or not, allowed me to indulge in my creativity. I had a fabulous committee who allowed me to explore my topic as I saw fit. They got my purpose and did not interfere with the ingenuity it took to prove in my topic.
Then I started back to work. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy my job. However, my job is not creativity-focused. At times I can feel the how things are supposed to be mindset around me. Sometimes it can be so overpowering I have to catch my breath as though gasping in fresh air will allow the imagination, the inspiration, the vision to recirculate. There is emphasis upon testing and measurements rather than freedom and expression. That often brings me down creatively. It then affects my own moods, my own frustrations, the ability to be who I am.
My hope, my plan, my goal (even though I shy away from strict plans and goals and prefer to live in a bohemian Carpe Diem mentality) is to block the blocks to my own creativity. Obviously, I cannot just leave a job. I would not want to even if I could. However, I will do my best to not allow a more traditional ethos to interfere with who I really am.
Creativity is about being open to experimentation. It is about being free from worry about mistakes. It is about getting away from ideas of how things supposedly should be.
I believe that has been my problem.
I spent the summer engaged in my college thesis, which, believe it or not, allowed me to indulge in my creativity. I had a fabulous committee who allowed me to explore my topic as I saw fit. They got my purpose and did not interfere with the ingenuity it took to prove in my topic.
Then I started back to work. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy my job. However, my job is not creativity-focused. At times I can feel the how things are supposed to be mindset around me. Sometimes it can be so overpowering I have to catch my breath as though gasping in fresh air will allow the imagination, the inspiration, the vision to recirculate. There is emphasis upon testing and measurements rather than freedom and expression. That often brings me down creatively. It then affects my own moods, my own frustrations, the ability to be who I am.
My hope, my plan, my goal (even though I shy away from strict plans and goals and prefer to live in a bohemian Carpe Diem mentality) is to block the blocks to my own creativity. Obviously, I cannot just leave a job. I would not want to even if I could. However, I will do my best to not allow a more traditional ethos to interfere with who I really am.
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