Success

There is a Facebook meme going around social media that has spurred intense conversation.  (I know that's a surprise).  The meme is one that takes a fairly old idea - a woman holding a sign that reads, "Spoke to my ex after ten years. 'Miss or Mrs.?" he asked. 'Dr.,' I said" - and offers a reply from an anonymous reader of social media that says, "He was asking if you're single or not. I would never want anyone that stupid to be my doctor." I have seen many responders to this meme side with the woman.  Others side with the responder.  

For the record, I side with the woman. Her response is one that I would make. First of all, the woman in this meme (if she is real, of course) worked hard for her PhD.  Secondly, the individual asking, "Miss or Mrs.?" is making assumptions.  This person assumes being married or single is the only aspect of life that matters about the woman in the photo.  She responds perfectly with a response that shows her life is her own.  Others' definitions do not matter.  

I have to say, if I meet anyone after a long period of time since we last talked, I generally ask the same question - "How have you been?"  I have never once asked, "Are you married or single?"  I have never asked, "How much money do you make?"  I consider it none of my business if they have children or not.  Their life is theirs.  An open-ended question allows the person I have run into to respond with how they view success in their personal life - whether that be marriage, career, school, the birth of a child, being single, working at McDonald's, being the CEO of a company, whatever. It is their definition and their happiness that matters. 

I am weary of questions such as, "What is she going to do with her life?" or "What is he thinking?"  To be frank, what he or she does is no one's business but his or hers.  Our society will much improve when we realize that.