Women Are Not Always Innocent
Last night, I finished reading Madame Bovary. It applies to my current Oscar Wilde study because Gustave Flaubert was a huge influence on Wilde and his writing. Some have argued Wilde was willing to face the Marquess of Queensberry in a libel trial because Flaubert had been put on trial for his own, indecent writing. Wilde, in a romantic vision, wanted the opportunity to defend his own literature as Flaubert had defended his.
I can see a lot of Madame Bovary in Dorian Gray. There were many similarities - the narcissistic hero of each of the books, the influence of literature on these heroes. There were similarities between the characters Rodolphe Boulanger de la Huchette in Madame Bovary and Lord Henry Wotton in The Picture of Dorian Gray.
I also, however, saw a lot of similarities between Madame Bovary and another book I finished just a few months ago - Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina. Both books, after all, deal with the subject of adultery. The protagonists of both books find themselves dissatisfied with married life and seek pleasure in the arms of men to whom they are not married. Of course, one has to remember, women had very few options but marriage in the nineteenth century, when both books were written. Their choices, if they found themselves in an unhappy marriage, were to stick it out and live a miserable life or, as the heroines in Madame Bovary and Anna Karenina did, seek solace and affection elsewhere.
This, however, is where, for me at least, the similarities between these two books end. I will admit, in Anna Karenina, Anna is not my favorite character. However, she is complicated. I do not blame her for her actions. Truth be told, I didn't like her husband either. I can understand why she sought love. I understand why she was torn. I understand why she could not bond with her daughter. She felt guilty for leaving her son behind, even though laws would not allow her to take him with her when she chose Vronsky over her current life. I even understand why she attempted to seduce other men toward the end of the book (she felt unloved by everyone) and, ultimately, why she committed suicide. She felt trapped. She felt guilty. She saw no way out other than death. I can sympathize with Anna.
I cannot find that sympathy with Emma in Madame Bovary.
I can find no sympathy for Emma because she was not as blameless as Anna. Emma was selfish. She was self-centered. I would dare call her narcissistic. The scene that cinches this idea for me is the scene in which her toddler daughter reaches for her mother. In a fit of self-pity, Emma pushes the girl away. Her daughter sustains a minor injury because of the slap. At that point, Emma's husband, Charles, arrives. Emma pretends to be concerned for the child in order to keep her husband's (who she cannot stand) good opinion of her. This is a mark of narcissism. Narcissists have no concern for their actions. They only want to stay in the good graces of those around them. This same attitude toward her daughter continues until Emma, like Anna, commits suicide. Even Emma's suicide appears to be less from pain than from selfishness. She kills herself when she cannot convince anyone to give her money so she can keep from losing her material possessions in legal actions. She is in danger of losing everything because of debts she signed for to finance her own extravagance.
It may seem as though I am being hard on poor Emma. I am not meaning to be. It's just I believe we often have a difficult time recognizing narcissism in women. We want to believe women are always the victims. We cannot fathom women being the perpetrator of abuse. Granted, women have been the oppressed throughout history. I stand for women's rights. I often promote the cause of feminism. I reveal sexual discrimination and oppression. However, we cannot assume that because women have been an oppressed group that all women are good and kind. This is far from the truth. There are women who are cunning and manipulative - who use their charms to hurt others (even men). There are times when men, other women, and even children are the victims of women's narcissism or narcissistic tendencies. There are times when little boys or teenage boys are prey to the destruction of little girls or teenage girls. Girls can bully just as much as boys. Oftentimes their bullying is verbal and mental, which makes it worse, at least in my opinion, than physical bullying.
There are several other points I did like about Madame Bovary. For example, I often say women fall prey to romanticized ideas of love. I believe Emma fell prey to this idea. She did not realize the true love of her husband because it did not make her feel the way the so-called love in romance stories made her feel. I will have write soon about my recent back injury and how my husband had to help me use the bathroom. That is love. That is the love that matters - not the romanticized ideals found in fairy tales that women all too often substitute for genuine love, care, and concern.
All in all, I recommend Madame Bovary for all lovers of classic literature and for all students of human nature. Just be prepared to see women are not always innocent. It may be a rude awakening. For those of us who have experienced abuse at the hands of women, it can even be triggering. Even more triggering are the attitudes of those who sympathize with characters like Emma - those who cannot see the evil behind the beauty.
I can see a lot of Madame Bovary in Dorian Gray. There were many similarities - the narcissistic hero of each of the books, the influence of literature on these heroes. There were similarities between the characters Rodolphe Boulanger de la Huchette in Madame Bovary and Lord Henry Wotton in The Picture of Dorian Gray.
I also, however, saw a lot of similarities between Madame Bovary and another book I finished just a few months ago - Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina. Both books, after all, deal with the subject of adultery. The protagonists of both books find themselves dissatisfied with married life and seek pleasure in the arms of men to whom they are not married. Of course, one has to remember, women had very few options but marriage in the nineteenth century, when both books were written. Their choices, if they found themselves in an unhappy marriage, were to stick it out and live a miserable life or, as the heroines in Madame Bovary and Anna Karenina did, seek solace and affection elsewhere.
This, however, is where, for me at least, the similarities between these two books end. I will admit, in Anna Karenina, Anna is not my favorite character. However, she is complicated. I do not blame her for her actions. Truth be told, I didn't like her husband either. I can understand why she sought love. I understand why she was torn. I understand why she could not bond with her daughter. She felt guilty for leaving her son behind, even though laws would not allow her to take him with her when she chose Vronsky over her current life. I even understand why she attempted to seduce other men toward the end of the book (she felt unloved by everyone) and, ultimately, why she committed suicide. She felt trapped. She felt guilty. She saw no way out other than death. I can sympathize with Anna.
I cannot find that sympathy with Emma in Madame Bovary.
I can find no sympathy for Emma because she was not as blameless as Anna. Emma was selfish. She was self-centered. I would dare call her narcissistic. The scene that cinches this idea for me is the scene in which her toddler daughter reaches for her mother. In a fit of self-pity, Emma pushes the girl away. Her daughter sustains a minor injury because of the slap. At that point, Emma's husband, Charles, arrives. Emma pretends to be concerned for the child in order to keep her husband's (who she cannot stand) good opinion of her. This is a mark of narcissism. Narcissists have no concern for their actions. They only want to stay in the good graces of those around them. This same attitude toward her daughter continues until Emma, like Anna, commits suicide. Even Emma's suicide appears to be less from pain than from selfishness. She kills herself when she cannot convince anyone to give her money so she can keep from losing her material possessions in legal actions. She is in danger of losing everything because of debts she signed for to finance her own extravagance.
It may seem as though I am being hard on poor Emma. I am not meaning to be. It's just I believe we often have a difficult time recognizing narcissism in women. We want to believe women are always the victims. We cannot fathom women being the perpetrator of abuse. Granted, women have been the oppressed throughout history. I stand for women's rights. I often promote the cause of feminism. I reveal sexual discrimination and oppression. However, we cannot assume that because women have been an oppressed group that all women are good and kind. This is far from the truth. There are women who are cunning and manipulative - who use their charms to hurt others (even men). There are times when men, other women, and even children are the victims of women's narcissism or narcissistic tendencies. There are times when little boys or teenage boys are prey to the destruction of little girls or teenage girls. Girls can bully just as much as boys. Oftentimes their bullying is verbal and mental, which makes it worse, at least in my opinion, than physical bullying.
There are several other points I did like about Madame Bovary. For example, I often say women fall prey to romanticized ideas of love. I believe Emma fell prey to this idea. She did not realize the true love of her husband because it did not make her feel the way the so-called love in romance stories made her feel. I will have write soon about my recent back injury and how my husband had to help me use the bathroom. That is love. That is the love that matters - not the romanticized ideals found in fairy tales that women all too often substitute for genuine love, care, and concern.
All in all, I recommend Madame Bovary for all lovers of classic literature and for all students of human nature. Just be prepared to see women are not always innocent. It may be a rude awakening. For those of us who have experienced abuse at the hands of women, it can even be triggering. Even more triggering are the attitudes of those who sympathize with characters like Emma - those who cannot see the evil behind the beauty.
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