Thoughts on Thanksgiving

 Today is Thanksgiving, a day to remember the historical myths were taught as children, to gather with family, and to eat too much food.  However, things have changed. We have learned the true history of the holiday, which makes the myths a little less sweet.  COVID is not allowing for large gatherings. Things are different. Many people say the holiday this year is just not right. 

I say Sarah Josepha Hale's philosophy has shaped American ideals a little too well.  It was Hale, who, back in the nineteenth century, wrote a cookbook that presented the perfect (in her mind at least) Thanksgiving meal. Her ideas about getting together and feasting were meant to boost morale during the American Civil War. She petitioned Abraham Lincoln to make Thanksgiving a federal holiday.  

I think Hale's ambitions were noble.  She fought for an end to slavery and for women's rights. She also saw the importance of physical activity for children. I do also feel, however, that the warm and fuzzy feelings about this American holiday are not what they are cracked up to be. 

A few weeks ago, I was a part of a Bible study on the topic of hospitality. I was frustrated by the writer's (an extrovert, by the way) ideas that hospitality is all about getting together, eating food, and engaging in beautiful fellowship.  Her idea that food and camaraderie and emotional openness go hand-in-hand, well, like Thanksgiving and turkey, is narrow.  Allow me to explain. 

First, there are many of us who would rather have a root canal with no anesthetic than invite people over and serve them food.  That is just not our gift.  It's not mine.  To assume that I cannot connect with other people without giving them food is arrogant and hurtful.  When I visit a prison inmate or write letters to an individual on death row, or when I facilitate Bible studies in which we pour out our hearts before God and one another, we certainly connect - fresh fruit and pizza bites or not.  

Secondly, some of us who have non-traditional diets feel out of place at events where food is served and expected to be partaken of.  This is not because we cannot be pleased as the punch that is served with our way of eating (or not eating) while everyone else enjoys the chosen meal. It is because other people too often just cannot get over the fact that we do not eat like everyone else does. 

I am vegetarian. I cannot tell you how many questions I get from other people at get-togethers with food. I have to prepare myself for the "Fill yourself a plate!" and "Why?," "Why not?," and "What do you eat?" questions. Of course, there is also the rather frequent "minister" - that person who wishes to convert me to being a meat eater. 

Lastly, we can put so much emphasis on that warm and fuzzy feeling we get with eating together (I hear that is a real emotion for some) that we do not focus on the real issues people are facing. This applies especially well to Thanksgiving.  We focus so much on the holiday food that we feel it should take priority over the rest of the year. I have seen this all too often - people who have nothing to do with one another throughout the year come together and pretend they are the best of friends.  Family abuse is expected to be forgotten, or at least ignored. All this is done in the name of gathering around a table and eating. Not only is it hypocritical; it is mentally damaging. 

I, for one, see dangers in our sweet, American ideology surrounding food and fellowship.  Am I jaded by my own experiences?  Perhaps. Or perhaps I would prefer to see real communication rather than just the superficiality of the holiday. That realness would definitely be something for which to be thankful.