How Spiritual Abuse Hurts Women's Self-Worth
My last blog post was about how Christian society often expects secrets to be hidden in the name of holiness and morality. If we hide it, it's like it doesn't exist. Today, I want to go a little deeper into not just Christianity as we know it, but into extreme doctrines of holiness, extreme doctrines of modesty; and how these extreme doctrines can and do harm self-worth - particularly the self-worth of women.
Imagine you are a woman being taught submissiveness. Not submissiveness as in mutual submission or respect. I mean submission in that your welfare is less important than that of others - particularly than that of your own husband. You are taught that it is your place to keep your home clean. It is your place to keep your husband fed. It is your place to satisfy your husband sexually, whenever he wants you to, regardless of how you feel. That is your Christian duty.
Imagine you are taught from a young age that if you show your knee or your shoulder or your neck, or if you wear a pair of pants that may allow some of your natural curves to be visible; then you are causing your brother to sin. You are the one responsible for his sinful thoughts. You are not only asking for trouble, but you are dishonoring God.
Imagine you are taught from a young age that if you change your appearance in order to make yourself feel better or more yourself, you are becoming a sinful woman. Some popular ideals include wearing make-up, wearing jewelry, cutting one's hair.
There is more than one denomination - more than one doctrine - more than one cult-like environment - that teach this extreme doctrine. These doctrines teach women that they are no more than an object for men. They can be an object for "good" or an object for "evil." They are responsible for what others think, how others act, and sins that others may commit.
Now imagine the unthinkable happens to one of these women. Perhaps a crime is committed against. Who are these women going to blame? In these environments, secrets are even easier to keep.
Imagine you are a woman being taught submissiveness. Not submissiveness as in mutual submission or respect. I mean submission in that your welfare is less important than that of others - particularly than that of your own husband. You are taught that it is your place to keep your home clean. It is your place to keep your husband fed. It is your place to satisfy your husband sexually, whenever he wants you to, regardless of how you feel. That is your Christian duty.
Imagine you are taught from a young age that if you show your knee or your shoulder or your neck, or if you wear a pair of pants that may allow some of your natural curves to be visible; then you are causing your brother to sin. You are the one responsible for his sinful thoughts. You are not only asking for trouble, but you are dishonoring God.
Imagine you are taught from a young age that if you change your appearance in order to make yourself feel better or more yourself, you are becoming a sinful woman. Some popular ideals include wearing make-up, wearing jewelry, cutting one's hair.
There is more than one denomination - more than one doctrine - more than one cult-like environment - that teach this extreme doctrine. These doctrines teach women that they are no more than an object for men. They can be an object for "good" or an object for "evil." They are responsible for what others think, how others act, and sins that others may commit.
Now imagine the unthinkable happens to one of these women. Perhaps a crime is committed against. Who are these women going to blame? In these environments, secrets are even easier to keep.
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