Can Harmony Result from Differences?
I think my relationship with my husband has spoiled me. We have wildly different views on many things, but we respect one another enough to respect those differences. And it works. Somehow. Some way. I believe it is the hand of God.
Romans 12:18 tells us to live peaceably with all men. I believe that. I believe we are not to go out of our way to have strife. For whatever depends upon us, we are to live at peace.
But I often wonder, in our society - and this sounds really bad, but especially our Christian society - if that peace is possible. For some reason, the belief that Jesus is the Savior and through Him we are saved has turned into the idea of, "Anything I say is true, because I'm a Christian. You're wrong."
"If I interpret the Bible differently than you do, you're wrong."
"If my tradition is different than your tradition, you're wrong."
"If my philosophy of parenting is different than yours, you're wrong."
"If my lifestyle is different than your lifestyle, you're wrong."
"If my idea of patriotism is different than your idea, you're wrong."
One area that crops up again and again for me, personally, is in the area of unschooling. I have no doubt God led me to unschooling.
It all began when my now eleven-year old son was three. He had a speech delay, and we put him in speech therapy through our local Headstart. Even before he was born, my husband and I made the decision to homeschool. (That was definitely the hand of God working on my husband's heart, but that's another story). At our first meeting with the director of the speech therapy program, he, of course, recommended Headstart. When I explained to him that we planned to homeschool, he was not the least bit shy about "expressing" his disapproval. This led to months of misery as my son was in this speech therapy program. We began homeschooling much sooner than we had planned, just because of the pressure to show that he would learn under our guidance rather than under the guidance of the public school system. I mean, these are people that could bring charges of educational neglect if they do deemed it necessary. I was so thankful when he was finally released from this program.
It was during this first year of homeschooling that I began to see my son learned completely different than I did at his age. When I was preschool-age, I was taught in a traditional manner. It was the age when worksheets ruled. Play was fine, but it was not real learning. That method did not in any way, shape, or form work for my son. One day, at one of our library visits (which were oftentimes taken out of exasperation and desperation), I picked up a copy of Home Education Magazine. I was intrigued by the idea of kids directing their own learning that was promoted within its pages. So I decided it was worth a shot. I slowly began giving my son choices. And he loved it. Our days went so much smoother. The more choices he had, the better he learned. I was amazed.
By the time our second son came along, we were seeped in unschooling. Our nine-year old has never learned using traditional methods. I could count on one hand the number of worksheets he has done. We have textbooks in their library - mainly ones we have found in the "for donation" box at events for our homeschooling group - but, to be honest, we rarely use them. My sons are much too busy learning to be bothered by how things "should be" learned.
If others do not feel the same as I do, that is fine. I'm a firm believer that God gave us our children for a reason. We have to take that seriously. If that means unschooling for my children and public school for yours, so be it. Unfortunately, this is often not how Christian teachers feel.
I cannot tell you how many times I have had Christian teachers question (sometimes with a criticizing tone in their voices) our choices. After so many questions, I admit I often get defensive. I feel I need to explain myself. I feel I need to give proof that my sons are learning, just as I felt in those speech therapy years. Sometimes I will even get critical of other methods, because I am so tired of people being critical of ours.
Is this an automatic reaction? Is this an example of not living at peace?
Sometimes I wonder.
Romans 12:18 tells us to live peaceably with all men. I believe that. I believe we are not to go out of our way to have strife. For whatever depends upon us, we are to live at peace.
But I often wonder, in our society - and this sounds really bad, but especially our Christian society - if that peace is possible. For some reason, the belief that Jesus is the Savior and through Him we are saved has turned into the idea of, "Anything I say is true, because I'm a Christian. You're wrong."
"If I interpret the Bible differently than you do, you're wrong."
"If my tradition is different than your tradition, you're wrong."
"If my philosophy of parenting is different than yours, you're wrong."
"If my lifestyle is different than your lifestyle, you're wrong."
"If my idea of patriotism is different than your idea, you're wrong."
One area that crops up again and again for me, personally, is in the area of unschooling. I have no doubt God led me to unschooling.
It all began when my now eleven-year old son was three. He had a speech delay, and we put him in speech therapy through our local Headstart. Even before he was born, my husband and I made the decision to homeschool. (That was definitely the hand of God working on my husband's heart, but that's another story). At our first meeting with the director of the speech therapy program, he, of course, recommended Headstart. When I explained to him that we planned to homeschool, he was not the least bit shy about "expressing" his disapproval. This led to months of misery as my son was in this speech therapy program. We began homeschooling much sooner than we had planned, just because of the pressure to show that he would learn under our guidance rather than under the guidance of the public school system. I mean, these are people that could bring charges of educational neglect if they do deemed it necessary. I was so thankful when he was finally released from this program.
It was during this first year of homeschooling that I began to see my son learned completely different than I did at his age. When I was preschool-age, I was taught in a traditional manner. It was the age when worksheets ruled. Play was fine, but it was not real learning. That method did not in any way, shape, or form work for my son. One day, at one of our library visits (which were oftentimes taken out of exasperation and desperation), I picked up a copy of Home Education Magazine. I was intrigued by the idea of kids directing their own learning that was promoted within its pages. So I decided it was worth a shot. I slowly began giving my son choices. And he loved it. Our days went so much smoother. The more choices he had, the better he learned. I was amazed.
By the time our second son came along, we were seeped in unschooling. Our nine-year old has never learned using traditional methods. I could count on one hand the number of worksheets he has done. We have textbooks in their library - mainly ones we have found in the "for donation" box at events for our homeschooling group - but, to be honest, we rarely use them. My sons are much too busy learning to be bothered by how things "should be" learned.
If others do not feel the same as I do, that is fine. I'm a firm believer that God gave us our children for a reason. We have to take that seriously. If that means unschooling for my children and public school for yours, so be it. Unfortunately, this is often not how Christian teachers feel.
I cannot tell you how many times I have had Christian teachers question (sometimes with a criticizing tone in their voices) our choices. After so many questions, I admit I often get defensive. I feel I need to explain myself. I feel I need to give proof that my sons are learning, just as I felt in those speech therapy years. Sometimes I will even get critical of other methods, because I am so tired of people being critical of ours.
Is this an automatic reaction? Is this an example of not living at peace?
Sometimes I wonder.
Comments
Post a Comment