Unexpected Methods of Healing
If anyone follows my Facebook page, they know that one area God has been leading me to is unconditional trust in Him, in the practice of miracles and healings, and in recognition that He alone is God and will share His glory with no one and nothing.
I believe this ties in with our ideas of how God works. We have our traditional ideas. Depending upon the Christian tradition we grew up in, we generally either favor the ideas that God uses other people or God uses miracles. I, for the record, believe God uses both. I believe the second is much more prominent than we often give God credit for.
That said, I believe God works miracles in non-traditional ways. The thought that comes to mind as I write this is the methods of healing that Jesus used. At times, He simply touched people (or they touched the hem of His garment). At times, He cast out the demons that were tormenting them by simply speaking the word. At yet another time, He made mud out of His saliva and put it on a man's eyes to heal His blindness. One thing is common in all of these methods, however, all the people who received healing came to Him. They were active in their faith - active enough to ask.
Not too long ago, I felt that I had a dark cloud hanging over my life. I often would be driving somewhere or walking with my family or watching my sons play at the park and notice the sunshine over me. I would wonder in my heart, "How can the sun be shining when I feel so dark?" I felt like Eeyore. Everyone else in the Hundred Acre Wood is playing in sunshine, but a dark cloud follows Eeyore wherever he goes. I remember going to work and seeing people that just appeared to be full of life. They smiled. They laughed. I smiled and joked and laughed too, but it was out of trying to hide what I was feeling. Because I didn't understand what I was feeling. The smiles and laughs didn't really come from inside of me.
My fellow Christians kept teaching, "God is the answer to your emotional healing. There's something wrong in your life if you do not receive it. Must be sin." What was wrong with me, then? I wasn't receiving it. But I kept pursuing it.
I don't want to bash the whole idea of "Jesus is the answer." Because He is. But sometimes it is not that we just wake up one morning and our faith is strong enough, I guess, that our emotional darkness is gone. We care again. We feel the sunshine on our faces and smell the roses in the air. It's not always like that.
I want to share how Jesus has been healing my emotional darkness. First, He led me to an understanding of the spiritual forces that work against us. It is very real. He showed me this even before the darkness set in, and He reminded me again through various studies and books I read as I was in the darkness.
Second, He led me to look deeply within myself and pushed me to undertake psychological studies - studies that showed me how the mind is affected by trauma and our own, personal crises. I even took a couple of college classes just to get the basic idea of how the mind works.
Third, He gave me courage to begin writing and journaling about areas of my past I had hidden - areas that affected me emotionally and spiritually and even physically. He taught me to face my fears, trusting in Him alone.
Fourth, He reminded me through my Bible studies that He alone is in control. He is in charge. He alone is Healer. (This is where my introduction fits in).
Fifth, I have always known a type of OCD (compulsions) run in my family. Double-checking. Counting. Making sure things are clean enough. But much more recently, God led me to a study of scrupulosity. Tears automatically come as I share this one, because it is so recent. I never understood the ideas that were coming against me. Because I did not understand them, feared them; I never shared them with anyone except God. Sometimes I could not even pray about them, because I couldn't understand them. But three times in one week, God led me to this term "scrupulosity." When He does this, I know to take notice. When I began my online research, I couldn't believe I wasn't alone. There are so many other people who know exactly what it feels like. I even joined an online group. So far I've just been a lurker, but I know eventually I will join in on the conversations.
Sixth, and this is really a strange sounding one to me; but God led me to begin studies of things I enjoy again. The thought came several months ago. I was at work, working in the arts and crafts department and thinking of my eleven-year old son and how much he loves art. And the thought came to me, "He loves art just because." It's not because he has to. It's not because he's trying to prove a point or make a name for himself. He loves art because he loves art. I searched myself trying to think of something I love just for the sake of loving it, some activity, some hobby. I couldn't think of any. So I chose one. I chose scrapbooking and got back into reading classic literature (the latter one I really did enjoy as a teenager). It was fun, but felt strange. Then this summer, I started my final college class (college algebra, which is definitely not one of my interests). Strangely, though, I was enjoying it more than I imagined I would. It felt good to be back into my college after just a couple of years ago of failing classes because I could not concentrate due to the darkness. Then I noticed a sign at our public library about the summer reading program. Again, tears are coming just thinking about it. My sons generally participate in the kids' summer reading program; but I have never taken part in the adult one. This year, I signed up. And, strangely enough, I kept up with the reading. I began reading books that drew me to them - some fiction, some non-fiction. One of the books (that I picked up thanks to a movie I had seen) led me into a study of some authors' lives I had never studied before. I love studying the lives of authors and artists and musicians. It felt so freeing to be studying these authors, just because I wanted to, just because I was enjoying the process.
I know this last paragraph sounds rambling. But I think that's the point. These last things were my mud placed upon my eyes. They aren't supposed to make logical sense. One thing led to another which led to another. A string of events.
One thing that I see as a common thread throughout all of the paragraphs above is studying. I love to study. And God has been bringing healing through studying. I guess that is my kind of active faith. I wanted healing so badly, prayed for it, asked for it, cried out to God; and He led me to the way that I could receive it.
I guess the point of this is to say that we should not expect God to work in conventional ways. He doesn't. He works in ways that work for us. He created us. He knows our individual needs. It just takes trusting Him instead of the ideas and methods and formulas that other people are telling us we need to trust in.
I believe this ties in with our ideas of how God works. We have our traditional ideas. Depending upon the Christian tradition we grew up in, we generally either favor the ideas that God uses other people or God uses miracles. I, for the record, believe God uses both. I believe the second is much more prominent than we often give God credit for.
That said, I believe God works miracles in non-traditional ways. The thought that comes to mind as I write this is the methods of healing that Jesus used. At times, He simply touched people (or they touched the hem of His garment). At times, He cast out the demons that were tormenting them by simply speaking the word. At yet another time, He made mud out of His saliva and put it on a man's eyes to heal His blindness. One thing is common in all of these methods, however, all the people who received healing came to Him. They were active in their faith - active enough to ask.
Not too long ago, I felt that I had a dark cloud hanging over my life. I often would be driving somewhere or walking with my family or watching my sons play at the park and notice the sunshine over me. I would wonder in my heart, "How can the sun be shining when I feel so dark?" I felt like Eeyore. Everyone else in the Hundred Acre Wood is playing in sunshine, but a dark cloud follows Eeyore wherever he goes. I remember going to work and seeing people that just appeared to be full of life. They smiled. They laughed. I smiled and joked and laughed too, but it was out of trying to hide what I was feeling. Because I didn't understand what I was feeling. The smiles and laughs didn't really come from inside of me.
My fellow Christians kept teaching, "God is the answer to your emotional healing. There's something wrong in your life if you do not receive it. Must be sin." What was wrong with me, then? I wasn't receiving it. But I kept pursuing it.
I don't want to bash the whole idea of "Jesus is the answer." Because He is. But sometimes it is not that we just wake up one morning and our faith is strong enough, I guess, that our emotional darkness is gone. We care again. We feel the sunshine on our faces and smell the roses in the air. It's not always like that.
I want to share how Jesus has been healing my emotional darkness. First, He led me to an understanding of the spiritual forces that work against us. It is very real. He showed me this even before the darkness set in, and He reminded me again through various studies and books I read as I was in the darkness.
Second, He led me to look deeply within myself and pushed me to undertake psychological studies - studies that showed me how the mind is affected by trauma and our own, personal crises. I even took a couple of college classes just to get the basic idea of how the mind works.
Third, He gave me courage to begin writing and journaling about areas of my past I had hidden - areas that affected me emotionally and spiritually and even physically. He taught me to face my fears, trusting in Him alone.
Fourth, He reminded me through my Bible studies that He alone is in control. He is in charge. He alone is Healer. (This is where my introduction fits in).
Fifth, I have always known a type of OCD (compulsions) run in my family. Double-checking. Counting. Making sure things are clean enough. But much more recently, God led me to a study of scrupulosity. Tears automatically come as I share this one, because it is so recent. I never understood the ideas that were coming against me. Because I did not understand them, feared them; I never shared them with anyone except God. Sometimes I could not even pray about them, because I couldn't understand them. But three times in one week, God led me to this term "scrupulosity." When He does this, I know to take notice. When I began my online research, I couldn't believe I wasn't alone. There are so many other people who know exactly what it feels like. I even joined an online group. So far I've just been a lurker, but I know eventually I will join in on the conversations.
Sixth, and this is really a strange sounding one to me; but God led me to begin studies of things I enjoy again. The thought came several months ago. I was at work, working in the arts and crafts department and thinking of my eleven-year old son and how much he loves art. And the thought came to me, "He loves art just because." It's not because he has to. It's not because he's trying to prove a point or make a name for himself. He loves art because he loves art. I searched myself trying to think of something I love just for the sake of loving it, some activity, some hobby. I couldn't think of any. So I chose one. I chose scrapbooking and got back into reading classic literature (the latter one I really did enjoy as a teenager). It was fun, but felt strange. Then this summer, I started my final college class (college algebra, which is definitely not one of my interests). Strangely, though, I was enjoying it more than I imagined I would. It felt good to be back into my college after just a couple of years ago of failing classes because I could not concentrate due to the darkness. Then I noticed a sign at our public library about the summer reading program. Again, tears are coming just thinking about it. My sons generally participate in the kids' summer reading program; but I have never taken part in the adult one. This year, I signed up. And, strangely enough, I kept up with the reading. I began reading books that drew me to them - some fiction, some non-fiction. One of the books (that I picked up thanks to a movie I had seen) led me into a study of some authors' lives I had never studied before. I love studying the lives of authors and artists and musicians. It felt so freeing to be studying these authors, just because I wanted to, just because I was enjoying the process.
I know this last paragraph sounds rambling. But I think that's the point. These last things were my mud placed upon my eyes. They aren't supposed to make logical sense. One thing led to another which led to another. A string of events.
One thing that I see as a common thread throughout all of the paragraphs above is studying. I love to study. And God has been bringing healing through studying. I guess that is my kind of active faith. I wanted healing so badly, prayed for it, asked for it, cried out to God; and He led me to the way that I could receive it.
I guess the point of this is to say that we should not expect God to work in conventional ways. He doesn't. He works in ways that work for us. He created us. He knows our individual needs. It just takes trusting Him instead of the ideas and methods and formulas that other people are telling us we need to trust in.
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