Confrontation
In today's society, we try to avoid confrontation. We use forgiveness, but what it really is is keeping things inside to avoid conflict. We put a smile on our faces and pretend the offense didn't happen. If it gets too much for us, we will talk with friends or even a counselor to get our emotions out. But we avoid confrontation at all costs.
Jesus taught in Luke 17:3-4, "Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, 'I repent,' you shall forgive him" (NKJV).
Often, we focus so much on the forgiveness part of this Passage that we forget the first thing He says - "rebuke him." Jesus didn't teach if someone sins against us that we are to hide away the hurt until it turns to bitterness. In fact, Hebrews 12:15 warns about allowing bitterness to form. Sometimes - many times - the only way to stop bitterness from forming is to confront.
For some reason, we have this Christian ideal that God doesn't care about our feelings. He just wants us to obey, to be miserable, to allow others to hurt us, to keep our feelings inside. Anything less than that is sin.
This Christian ideal is not from the Bible. God cares about us. He cares about our physical well-being, our well-emotional being, our spiritual well-being. He cares about our lives on earth.
Just in the past couple of weeks, I finally realized this. I sent a letter to someone who had hurt me maybe twenty to twenty-five years ago. It's not that held onto anger. It's that I realized the way I had been hurt was still affecting my relationships with other people. I needed to confront that in order to heal. The only way was to get my emotions and feelings out about the events that had occurred in my past - here's the key - with that individual. I could talk to anyone else that I wanted to talk to about it. I could write about it in my journal. But the result of what had been said and done was still with me. I had to say what I was feeling to the person who I feel wronged me. Now I can move on.
I believe when we realize the importance of confrontation, we are able to free ourselves and forgive. We can let go of anger. We can let go of hurt. When we get the secret out, we allow healing to come in.
Jesus taught in Luke 17:3-4, "Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, 'I repent,' you shall forgive him" (NKJV).
Often, we focus so much on the forgiveness part of this Passage that we forget the first thing He says - "rebuke him." Jesus didn't teach if someone sins against us that we are to hide away the hurt until it turns to bitterness. In fact, Hebrews 12:15 warns about allowing bitterness to form. Sometimes - many times - the only way to stop bitterness from forming is to confront.
For some reason, we have this Christian ideal that God doesn't care about our feelings. He just wants us to obey, to be miserable, to allow others to hurt us, to keep our feelings inside. Anything less than that is sin.
This Christian ideal is not from the Bible. God cares about us. He cares about our physical well-being, our well-emotional being, our spiritual well-being. He cares about our lives on earth.
Just in the past couple of weeks, I finally realized this. I sent a letter to someone who had hurt me maybe twenty to twenty-five years ago. It's not that held onto anger. It's that I realized the way I had been hurt was still affecting my relationships with other people. I needed to confront that in order to heal. The only way was to get my emotions and feelings out about the events that had occurred in my past - here's the key - with that individual. I could talk to anyone else that I wanted to talk to about it. I could write about it in my journal. But the result of what had been said and done was still with me. I had to say what I was feeling to the person who I feel wronged me. Now I can move on.
I believe when we realize the importance of confrontation, we are able to free ourselves and forgive. We can let go of anger. We can let go of hurt. When we get the secret out, we allow healing to come in.
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