Confrontation - A Lesson from our Housechurch Today

I always love the way God gives me confirmation.  This is the lesson from our housechurch study today.  As I wrote in this original Facebook post for our housechurch page, I have been having some conversations that relate to this lesson. 

Today, for our housechurch study, we studied from I Kings 20. This is an interesting chapter that I like a lot. It shows us appeasement is not peace. Peace-keeping is not peace-making.

In this chapter, we find Ahab appeasing the king of Aram. Beh-Hadad demands more and more appeasement. He demands that Ahab give him silver and gold, wives and children. Ahab agrees. He will appease in this way. Ben-Hadad then proclaims he will come into Ahab's kingdom and take whatever he wants. Ahab has appeased him all this time, why should he not just take anything at all that he desires?

A prophet of God comes to Ahab. This prophet, pretty much, tells Ahab he better gather his courage. He is to pursue Ben-Hadad. He is to go to war with him. Ahab asks him how? The prophet tells Ahab he (Ahab) will lead his junior officials into battle. God will give them victory.

Here, no doubt, God is forcing Ahab to gain some courage. Ahab has been such a weak king. He appeases the enemy instead of standing against them.

Ahab does what the prophet commands. He gathers his junior officials. In the hill country of Samaria, God gives Ahab's army a great victory. Ben-Hadad flees.

The prophet of God again comes to Ahab and reveals Ben-Hadad will again attack in the spring. Ahab should be prepared. As prophesied, Beh-Hadad, convinced that he can defeat Samaria if they battle in the valley rather than in the hills, attacks. Again, God gives Samaria the victory. Ben-Hadad, terrified by how great Israel's victory was, flees.

Ben-Hadad sends messengers to Ahab, asking for peace. Ahab gladly accepts Ben-Hadad's offer. He calls him "brother" and signs a treaty with him. At these actions, the prophet confronts Ahab. He proclaims Ahab's error in making peace with Ben-Hadad and that God will now take Ahab's life for Ben-Hadad's because Ahab is more interested in appeasement than in obedience. Obviously, Ben-Hadad cannot be trusted.

There is such an important lesson for us today in this event from I Kings. In today's society, I believe we are guilty of appeasement. We fear confrontation. I have had two conversations in the past few days about the value of confrontation.

How many times, do we hear, if we are angry with another person, if we have been wronged; we should meditate or engage in deep breathing or hit a punching bag or run or do an intense workout, or.. or...or. We appease our anger and call it forgiveness.

This is the opposite of what the Bible says. Jesus taught in Luke 17:3-4, "If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times and come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them” (NIV). Now this passage is not saying we are exempt from forgiving if our brother is not sorry. We are still responsible for forgiving. It is saying we need to confront the sin against us. We cannot truly forgive if we do not confront what or who we are forgiving.

Matthew 15:17-18 takes this idea even further, "“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector." Notice, forgiveness does not equate lack of confrontation or even being reunited with the offender.

Earlier in Matthew 5:23-24, Jesus explains, "“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift." There has to be a discussion, a confrontation, before a gift can be offered. If we have caused the fault, we are to right that.

To avoid the discussion, to avoid the confrontation, is to become a peace-keeper or appeaser rather than a peace-maker.

Romans 12:9-21 tells us

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

'If your enemy is hungry, feed him;

if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.

In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.'"

Paul, in Romans, describes peace-making. Notice, in peace-making, there is a hatred of what is wrong. There is zeal. There is no appeasement. There is true forgiveness in action. This lesson is one Ahab would soon learn.