Exclusivism
I had a conversation the other day about how people that are accepted generally cannot understand the mindset of one who is not accepted. I had that exact discussion once at a church Bible study.
The opinion had arisen of people who leave the church - that they need to come back, they need to accept that there are faults in all people. I answered that statement point-blank. I told them that everyone there had been accepted. Their families had been in this church for decades. They were raised in this particular congregation. They had high positions in this congregation. They did not know what it is like to walk through the doors and be looked down upon. They had never experienced it. They did not know what it is like to want to be a part, but to have to be observed first - just to be sure they are living up to the church's standards.
Unfortunately, this is how exclusivism works. In an exclusivist system, there are those who are in and those who are out. If you're in, welcome to the club. If you are out, sorry 'bout your luck.
Generally, the reason for being an "in" boils down to a like mindset and lifestyle. It boils down to looking and acting the part. It boils down to fitting in.
Being an "out" is the opposite. If you do things differently, if you do not agree with a particular idea presented in the group, if you do not look or dress or talk the same way; you didn't quite make the cut.
This is an idea that I struggle with. There are so many things that are exclusive around me. My religion is often exclusive. Sad, because Jesus wasn't and still isn't. As much as the homeschooler in me hates to admit it, homeschooling can become very exclusive. As an unschooler, I can tell you from experience how exclusive it can be. Even the workplace can be exclusive. There are those who immediately make it to the top because of who they are and who they know. Others struggle for years and never progress any farther, because they do not have those connections.
What I have learned is I do not want to be a part of the exclusive clubs. Oh, believe me, I used to want to be a part. I wanted to be able to teach a Bible study at certain churches. I wanted to be able to be respected as a teacher at educational gatherings. I wanted people to look at me and say, "Your ideas do make sense" - whether they agreed with them or not. But I don't anymore.
I've discovered that if I am a part of exclusive clubs, of exclusive events, of exclusive genres; I am the one who is viewed as looking down on others. I am agreeing that some people are worthy of making the cut and some are not. I am guilty.
I can perpetually wash my hands of the ideology of exclusivism, but associating my name with such groups proclaims the opposite by my actions. I become like Pontius Pilate - allowing the event to occur but putting the blame on others so I appear innocent.
There is a decision I am struggling with right now. I am praying about how to handle the situation. I am hoping I am just paranoid about how this situation will end. All I know is I have learned too much about exclusivism to be a part of it.
The opinion had arisen of people who leave the church - that they need to come back, they need to accept that there are faults in all people. I answered that statement point-blank. I told them that everyone there had been accepted. Their families had been in this church for decades. They were raised in this particular congregation. They had high positions in this congregation. They did not know what it is like to walk through the doors and be looked down upon. They had never experienced it. They did not know what it is like to want to be a part, but to have to be observed first - just to be sure they are living up to the church's standards.
Unfortunately, this is how exclusivism works. In an exclusivist system, there are those who are in and those who are out. If you're in, welcome to the club. If you are out, sorry 'bout your luck.
Generally, the reason for being an "in" boils down to a like mindset and lifestyle. It boils down to looking and acting the part. It boils down to fitting in.
Being an "out" is the opposite. If you do things differently, if you do not agree with a particular idea presented in the group, if you do not look or dress or talk the same way; you didn't quite make the cut.
This is an idea that I struggle with. There are so many things that are exclusive around me. My religion is often exclusive. Sad, because Jesus wasn't and still isn't. As much as the homeschooler in me hates to admit it, homeschooling can become very exclusive. As an unschooler, I can tell you from experience how exclusive it can be. Even the workplace can be exclusive. There are those who immediately make it to the top because of who they are and who they know. Others struggle for years and never progress any farther, because they do not have those connections.
What I have learned is I do not want to be a part of the exclusive clubs. Oh, believe me, I used to want to be a part. I wanted to be able to teach a Bible study at certain churches. I wanted to be able to be respected as a teacher at educational gatherings. I wanted people to look at me and say, "Your ideas do make sense" - whether they agreed with them or not. But I don't anymore.
I've discovered that if I am a part of exclusive clubs, of exclusive events, of exclusive genres; I am the one who is viewed as looking down on others. I am agreeing that some people are worthy of making the cut and some are not. I am guilty.
I can perpetually wash my hands of the ideology of exclusivism, but associating my name with such groups proclaims the opposite by my actions. I become like Pontius Pilate - allowing the event to occur but putting the blame on others so I appear innocent.
There is a decision I am struggling with right now. I am praying about how to handle the situation. I am hoping I am just paranoid about how this situation will end. All I know is I have learned too much about exclusivism to be a part of it.
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