Can Oppression Lead to Arrogance?
This is not going to be a popular post. In fact, I am sure many will disagree with it. I am not even sure how to word it without it coming across wrong.
Earlier today, I was a part of a conversation about boys and girls. The conversation began by someone recognizing bad behavior in a group of teenage boys and commenting about why males have to act this way and thankfulness that this person has daughters. I explained that it really is what we prefer, our own opinions. I probably did not say what I wanted to say well enough, but I attempted to explain that women have bad behaviors as well.
I gave my personal experiences of girls forming cliques, of girls who want to roughhouse with boys and then tattle and complain if they get hurt. I told of my experiences working in a call center for cell phone insurance in which the worse calls by men were screaming, cussing, and hanging up while the worse calls from women were customers who tried to manipulate to get their own way. I much preferred the calls from men.
I was attempting to show that both sexes have their downfalls.
However, that was not okay. I was analyzed as being hurt because I have had bad experiences with women. I was felt sorry for because I do not have strong, female friendships. (I did say, in all fairness, that, for the most part, I have always had more male friendships than female and even have better work relationships with male mangers than with female). One person even told me she hoped I was not teaching my sons to hate females.
That last one really hit me.
It hit me because if anyone is a feminist, it is me. I work tirelessly to ensure my sons see the value of women. We approach oppression and equal rights from all perspectives. I have left groups that were important to me because I believe in gay rights. I have left the organized church because I see too much oppression. I have taken on professors in college with papers I have written over gay rights, classism, and liberation theology. If anyone - anyone - believes in equal rights, I do.
That, though, led me to wonder. Can oppression lead to arrogance?
We have learned through case studies and real-life scenarios that children who bully are often abused in their own homes. We also know that abused children often either grow up to abuse or to take abuse from others such as their spouses. Can it be that those who have been oppressed throughout history have found the so-called best form of defense is also oppression? Can we no longer see that in all of us there is both good and bad, regardless of our race, our gender, our religious beliefs and ideals, our sexual orientation?
I, personally, believe we are a society of extremes.
We are so accustomed to there being good guys and bad guys, that there always has to be an enemy. We cannot see ideals for what they are - ideas that are human, that are infallible, that contain elements of both good and bad, right and wrong, sin and righteousness. We cannot see our own imperfections when we are constantly pointing out the wrongness of others.
Perhaps this may come as a surprise to some, but men are no worse than women. Men are both good and bad and women are both good and bad. The fact that I believe in equal rights does not mean I will stand for the traditionally oppressed side oppressing the traditionally privileged any more than I would stand for the opposite. We need to stop the arrogance.
Earlier today, I was a part of a conversation about boys and girls. The conversation began by someone recognizing bad behavior in a group of teenage boys and commenting about why males have to act this way and thankfulness that this person has daughters. I explained that it really is what we prefer, our own opinions. I probably did not say what I wanted to say well enough, but I attempted to explain that women have bad behaviors as well.
I gave my personal experiences of girls forming cliques, of girls who want to roughhouse with boys and then tattle and complain if they get hurt. I told of my experiences working in a call center for cell phone insurance in which the worse calls by men were screaming, cussing, and hanging up while the worse calls from women were customers who tried to manipulate to get their own way. I much preferred the calls from men.
I was attempting to show that both sexes have their downfalls.
However, that was not okay. I was analyzed as being hurt because I have had bad experiences with women. I was felt sorry for because I do not have strong, female friendships. (I did say, in all fairness, that, for the most part, I have always had more male friendships than female and even have better work relationships with male mangers than with female). One person even told me she hoped I was not teaching my sons to hate females.
That last one really hit me.
It hit me because if anyone is a feminist, it is me. I work tirelessly to ensure my sons see the value of women. We approach oppression and equal rights from all perspectives. I have left groups that were important to me because I believe in gay rights. I have left the organized church because I see too much oppression. I have taken on professors in college with papers I have written over gay rights, classism, and liberation theology. If anyone - anyone - believes in equal rights, I do.
That, though, led me to wonder. Can oppression lead to arrogance?
We have learned through case studies and real-life scenarios that children who bully are often abused in their own homes. We also know that abused children often either grow up to abuse or to take abuse from others such as their spouses. Can it be that those who have been oppressed throughout history have found the so-called best form of defense is also oppression? Can we no longer see that in all of us there is both good and bad, regardless of our race, our gender, our religious beliefs and ideals, our sexual orientation?
I, personally, believe we are a society of extremes.
We are so accustomed to there being good guys and bad guys, that there always has to be an enemy. We cannot see ideals for what they are - ideas that are human, that are infallible, that contain elements of both good and bad, right and wrong, sin and righteousness. We cannot see our own imperfections when we are constantly pointing out the wrongness of others.
Perhaps this may come as a surprise to some, but men are no worse than women. Men are both good and bad and women are both good and bad. The fact that I believe in equal rights does not mean I will stand for the traditionally oppressed side oppressing the traditionally privileged any more than I would stand for the opposite. We need to stop the arrogance.
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