Hypocrisy in Diversity
I just finished reading a book entitled The Civil Wars of Julia Ward Howe by Elaine Showalter. It tells of the life of the writer of "The Battlehymn of the Republic," through personal letters written by Howe and those associated with her. The piece focuses on the struggle Howe experienced with her husband, Samuel Gridley "Chev" Howe, who fought in the Greek Revolution, was a believer in abolition and human rights, and was a founder of a school for the blind and deaf. By all outward appearances, Samuel Howe was a progressive person who believed in the rights of others.
However, according to Showalter's research, Samuel Howe was not nearly as progressive when it came to his beliefs about his wife. He did not support her writing and was, in fact, jealous of her success as a poet. His controlling ideals left Julia Ward Howe feeling restrained and depressed for most of her life.
Most readers of this book would probably see the irony. However, we often do not see the same irony in ourselves. We do not see our own acceptance and rejecting of ideas that are extremely similar in scope. We do not see our own hypocrisy in our ideas of diversity.
My purse wears a button that I purchased from Monroe School in Topeka, Kansas. Monroe School is the historical site for Brown v. the Board of Education. This button depicts MLK's "I have a dream," the Venus or "women's" symbol, an LGBT flag, and a "handicap" insignia. It reads, "Same struggle, different difference." Everyday, new experiences convince me of the truth of the statement made by this button.
We are a society of tolerance. We are a society of so-called diversity - as long as that diversity is the same as our diversity. We will give fake smiles and tolerate those who are on the outside of our world, of our comfort zone; but we will never allow them on the inside.
I have found this is true even in people who are or who love people who are different by society's standards. Much like Samuel Howe, we can accept those who are different like we are or those who fit our own, personal agenda of differences. But we cannot accept those who are different in a way that is opposite.
Friends, that is not diversity.
Diversity is knowing that all of us are different in different ways. We may not like those ways others are different, but those ways are just as valuable as our own differences. If we cannot tolerate those differences, that is on us, not on them. If we cannot accept that others are okay the way they are, we cannot expect them to do the same for us.
I am a different person. I have never fit society's standards. I think differently than society does.
Likewise, my sons are different by society's standards. My sons are focused on their passions. They will tell you if they disagree with you.
My older son is an artist. He has dyslexia and who knows with what else society may diagnose him. He is himself. He sees things differently. I've always considered him an old soul.
My younger son, I have no doubt, would be diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder if he were in a public school setting. He cannot sit still. He questions. He challenges. He has to touch to understand. He loves. He is sensitive and does not understand the cruelty of people. He thinks and feels deeply and is always the first person to give a second chance.
I know from experience what it is like to feel the wrathful eyes of others on me or on my family. I can see the questions behind expressions. I've learned over the years that there are some who are on the outside simply because they are different than others who are also different, yet they cannot accept the fact that all differences are equal.
Julia Ward Howe fought feelings of rejection all of her life. Until the end of that life, she also championed women's rights, abolition, the rights of Native Americans, and other notable endeavors. Showalter concludes this is because she knew what it was like to live under the tight reins of control.
I agree. When one knows what it is like to feel the sting of rejection, the pain of control, the weight of injustice; that person has no choice but to fight for rights of others. At least I will. Accept me or reject me, I will not give up.
However, according to Showalter's research, Samuel Howe was not nearly as progressive when it came to his beliefs about his wife. He did not support her writing and was, in fact, jealous of her success as a poet. His controlling ideals left Julia Ward Howe feeling restrained and depressed for most of her life.
Most readers of this book would probably see the irony. However, we often do not see the same irony in ourselves. We do not see our own acceptance and rejecting of ideas that are extremely similar in scope. We do not see our own hypocrisy in our ideas of diversity.
My purse wears a button that I purchased from Monroe School in Topeka, Kansas. Monroe School is the historical site for Brown v. the Board of Education. This button depicts MLK's "I have a dream," the Venus or "women's" symbol, an LGBT flag, and a "handicap" insignia. It reads, "Same struggle, different difference." Everyday, new experiences convince me of the truth of the statement made by this button.
We are a society of tolerance. We are a society of so-called diversity - as long as that diversity is the same as our diversity. We will give fake smiles and tolerate those who are on the outside of our world, of our comfort zone; but we will never allow them on the inside.
I have found this is true even in people who are or who love people who are different by society's standards. Much like Samuel Howe, we can accept those who are different like we are or those who fit our own, personal agenda of differences. But we cannot accept those who are different in a way that is opposite.
Friends, that is not diversity.
Diversity is knowing that all of us are different in different ways. We may not like those ways others are different, but those ways are just as valuable as our own differences. If we cannot tolerate those differences, that is on us, not on them. If we cannot accept that others are okay the way they are, we cannot expect them to do the same for us.
I am a different person. I have never fit society's standards. I think differently than society does.
Likewise, my sons are different by society's standards. My sons are focused on their passions. They will tell you if they disagree with you.
My older son is an artist. He has dyslexia and who knows with what else society may diagnose him. He is himself. He sees things differently. I've always considered him an old soul.
My younger son, I have no doubt, would be diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder if he were in a public school setting. He cannot sit still. He questions. He challenges. He has to touch to understand. He loves. He is sensitive and does not understand the cruelty of people. He thinks and feels deeply and is always the first person to give a second chance.
I know from experience what it is like to feel the wrathful eyes of others on me or on my family. I can see the questions behind expressions. I've learned over the years that there are some who are on the outside simply because they are different than others who are also different, yet they cannot accept the fact that all differences are equal.
Julia Ward Howe fought feelings of rejection all of her life. Until the end of that life, she also championed women's rights, abolition, the rights of Native Americans, and other notable endeavors. Showalter concludes this is because she knew what it was like to live under the tight reins of control.
I agree. When one knows what it is like to feel the sting of rejection, the pain of control, the weight of injustice; that person has no choice but to fight for rights of others. At least I will. Accept me or reject me, I will not give up.
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