Thoughts on Gender Stereotypes, Transgenderism, and How Societal Thoughts about Gender Can Affect Thinking
I have been thinking a lot the past few days about how gender stereotypes affect one's thinking. There have been many reports about a 17-year old transgender teen who committed suicide. This particular teen wrote about undergoing what has been called transgender reparative therapy. One thing, in particular, that this teen wrote spoke to me. It is the idea that God doesn't make mistakes. Since God doesn't make mistakes, anyone that is, by society's standards "mistaken," must need repaired.
Had I not gone through a situation, a circumstance, in which gender stereotypes were used to make me feel less than equal to what God wanted me to be, I probably would not have understood how spiritually dangerous this ideology can be.
As I have posted more than once, my family is not a typical, nuclear family. I don't cook meals and wait at home for my husband to get off work. On the contrary, we both work, we both clean house. My husband does the cooking, because he enjoys it and is good at it. I cook only when I have to. I've never been into ideals that are considered "woman" things. I was telling a co-worker the other day about the time I almost sold Avon. I was in my twenties and wanting to make some extra money. However, I just could not bring myself to do it. It just was not "me." Selling guitars, yes. Selling books, definitely. But Avon? Nah.
I could tells stories about the surprise from others that often accompanied me in my teen years when I told them I played the electric guitar. I remember one guitar teacher, who did not mean anything inappropriate by this, but who told me he had always been sexist. He had always said girls could not play the guitar as well as guys. Then he met me. The same sentiment carried into my early adult years with my study of theology in college. Even fellow students would comment that it is unusual for a woman to study theology. (The larger percent of my fellow theology students were male). Even today, many are shocked that a woman would study the Bible in such a way as God has led me to study.
Growing up, I remember my mother, in particular, believing in strict gender lines. For instance, she never believed a boy should dance ballet. It was for girls. I remember every Christmas my brothers would get socks. It was a tradition my mother lovingly carried out until her last Christmas before she died. However, she was always careful to buy gray socks. She always said when my brothers were growing up, white socks were considered "girly."
These little things above never really bothered me. However, when I stepped into a situation in which I was expected to be "feminine," an idea that was promoted through Biblical theology, that I also wondered if there was something wrong with me. I'm sure a lot of it was the timing. I had many things on my mind at this time - things that I have written about fairly extensively. But, no matter the the causes, the idea that I could be displeasing God by not being feminine enough made me question. At this particular location, gender lines were heavily believed in. Women were women and men were men. Whatever that means. Women were to dress a certain way. They were to take part in setting tables and cooking meals and have purse swaps for enjoyment. Men were to do the leading. They were to be the ones that fought the devil and looked after the protection of their families. Granted, I did question this. On more than one occasion. I even asked why, considering this was a Christian establishment, the women did not engage in a women's Bible study. It was as though they were content to skim the outer layers of the Bible and just allow their husbands to study the rest. I explained over and over that I am not one to cook or set tables. I do not enjoy the same type of fellowship. I want to be the one that also takes part in fighting the devil and protecting and studying. That is how people get to know me is by studying together with me. (So anyone who really wants to get to know me, let's schedule a study!).
I'm not sure if people understood me or not. Perhaps they just viewed me as being completely ... lost. But that feeling of isolation for not being completely where I should be as far as gender goes is something that I can relate to.
I know my story is certainly nothing compared to what others, such as the teen I mentioned above, have gone through. But I hope my small story can shed a little light on what emotional harm societal gender stereotypes can inflict. I mention societal gender stereotypes because, as I mentioned in my last blog entry, I do not believe these stereotypes are Biblical.
One of my larger writing projects is a book that I have entitled The Esau Syndrome. It deals with issues such as the one I just wrote about. So now, just a short Bible study to ponder: Do you think the masculine, hairy, muscular Esau could have wrestled with God Himself, only giving up when God purposely inflicted a physical injury to cause him to stop? Just some thoughts.
Had I not gone through a situation, a circumstance, in which gender stereotypes were used to make me feel less than equal to what God wanted me to be, I probably would not have understood how spiritually dangerous this ideology can be.
As I have posted more than once, my family is not a typical, nuclear family. I don't cook meals and wait at home for my husband to get off work. On the contrary, we both work, we both clean house. My husband does the cooking, because he enjoys it and is good at it. I cook only when I have to. I've never been into ideals that are considered "woman" things. I was telling a co-worker the other day about the time I almost sold Avon. I was in my twenties and wanting to make some extra money. However, I just could not bring myself to do it. It just was not "me." Selling guitars, yes. Selling books, definitely. But Avon? Nah.
I could tells stories about the surprise from others that often accompanied me in my teen years when I told them I played the electric guitar. I remember one guitar teacher, who did not mean anything inappropriate by this, but who told me he had always been sexist. He had always said girls could not play the guitar as well as guys. Then he met me. The same sentiment carried into my early adult years with my study of theology in college. Even fellow students would comment that it is unusual for a woman to study theology. (The larger percent of my fellow theology students were male). Even today, many are shocked that a woman would study the Bible in such a way as God has led me to study.
Growing up, I remember my mother, in particular, believing in strict gender lines. For instance, she never believed a boy should dance ballet. It was for girls. I remember every Christmas my brothers would get socks. It was a tradition my mother lovingly carried out until her last Christmas before she died. However, she was always careful to buy gray socks. She always said when my brothers were growing up, white socks were considered "girly."
These little things above never really bothered me. However, when I stepped into a situation in which I was expected to be "feminine," an idea that was promoted through Biblical theology, that I also wondered if there was something wrong with me. I'm sure a lot of it was the timing. I had many things on my mind at this time - things that I have written about fairly extensively. But, no matter the the causes, the idea that I could be displeasing God by not being feminine enough made me question. At this particular location, gender lines were heavily believed in. Women were women and men were men. Whatever that means. Women were to dress a certain way. They were to take part in setting tables and cooking meals and have purse swaps for enjoyment. Men were to do the leading. They were to be the ones that fought the devil and looked after the protection of their families. Granted, I did question this. On more than one occasion. I even asked why, considering this was a Christian establishment, the women did not engage in a women's Bible study. It was as though they were content to skim the outer layers of the Bible and just allow their husbands to study the rest. I explained over and over that I am not one to cook or set tables. I do not enjoy the same type of fellowship. I want to be the one that also takes part in fighting the devil and protecting and studying. That is how people get to know me is by studying together with me. (So anyone who really wants to get to know me, let's schedule a study!).
I'm not sure if people understood me or not. Perhaps they just viewed me as being completely ... lost. But that feeling of isolation for not being completely where I should be as far as gender goes is something that I can relate to.
I know my story is certainly nothing compared to what others, such as the teen I mentioned above, have gone through. But I hope my small story can shed a little light on what emotional harm societal gender stereotypes can inflict. I mention societal gender stereotypes because, as I mentioned in my last blog entry, I do not believe these stereotypes are Biblical.
One of my larger writing projects is a book that I have entitled The Esau Syndrome. It deals with issues such as the one I just wrote about. So now, just a short Bible study to ponder: Do you think the masculine, hairy, muscular Esau could have wrestled with God Himself, only giving up when God purposely inflicted a physical injury to cause him to stop? Just some thoughts.
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