Is Exclusivism a Form of Passive Aggressive Behavior?
Is exclusivism a form of passive-aggressive behavior?
That's an interesting question.
Eclusivism says, "Unless you are this..." or "Unless you think this way...," you cannot be a part of us. Sometimes, with some groups, there is a type of monopoly that the group feels they have.
For instance, this behavior may be in a work situation. The person being manipulated needs a job to provide for his or her family. The company knows this.
It may be a group that provides a service that no one else in the area provides. Sometimes those groups use fear tactics to say, "You need to belong, or this (insert worst fear) may happen. We will support you." Then the group gives exclusivist rules and guidelines that many are not going to agree with, but they tell themselves they do - just because they have been convinced it prevents their worst fear from happening. Many homeschooling groups, for instance, fall into this category.
It may be a social group that has been in a person's family for generations. They have to be a part because it's a family tradition. Leaving would be like leaving family.
It may be a church that uses all of the arguments listed above. People feel they will not be pleasing to God if they are not a part. They feel this particular church must be right because they are God's people.
In any scenario, I would argue that these groups often are passively-aggressively attempting to control and manipulate thoughts. They are promoting their agenda and saying, "Agree or you're out." This mindset causes the victims to feel as though their world may collapse if they do not agree to agree when, in reality, they disagree.
What I have discovered in situations such as this is it is best to take the viewpoint, "If my world collapses, it collapses. I have to stand for what I believe. I will not allow my beliefs to be controlled. I will not allow myself to be controlled." I heard a Beth Moore Bible study several years ago that focused on Queen Esther's words, "If I perish, I perish" (Esther 4:16). Sometimes it is better to go out on one's own. Sometimes it is better to try to find or start a more inclusive group that offers similar support or services. This is how my family and I became involved in the organic church movement.
There are other options. It is so much better in the long run to get away from exclusive behavior and passive-aggressive control. Just a note of encouragement: If I can do it, anyone can!
That's an interesting question.
Eclusivism says, "Unless you are this..." or "Unless you think this way...," you cannot be a part of us. Sometimes, with some groups, there is a type of monopoly that the group feels they have.
For instance, this behavior may be in a work situation. The person being manipulated needs a job to provide for his or her family. The company knows this.
It may be a group that provides a service that no one else in the area provides. Sometimes those groups use fear tactics to say, "You need to belong, or this (insert worst fear) may happen. We will support you." Then the group gives exclusivist rules and guidelines that many are not going to agree with, but they tell themselves they do - just because they have been convinced it prevents their worst fear from happening. Many homeschooling groups, for instance, fall into this category.
It may be a social group that has been in a person's family for generations. They have to be a part because it's a family tradition. Leaving would be like leaving family.
It may be a church that uses all of the arguments listed above. People feel they will not be pleasing to God if they are not a part. They feel this particular church must be right because they are God's people.
In any scenario, I would argue that these groups often are passively-aggressively attempting to control and manipulate thoughts. They are promoting their agenda and saying, "Agree or you're out." This mindset causes the victims to feel as though their world may collapse if they do not agree to agree when, in reality, they disagree.
What I have discovered in situations such as this is it is best to take the viewpoint, "If my world collapses, it collapses. I have to stand for what I believe. I will not allow my beliefs to be controlled. I will not allow myself to be controlled." I heard a Beth Moore Bible study several years ago that focused on Queen Esther's words, "If I perish, I perish" (Esther 4:16). Sometimes it is better to go out on one's own. Sometimes it is better to try to find or start a more inclusive group that offers similar support or services. This is how my family and I became involved in the organic church movement.
There are other options. It is so much better in the long run to get away from exclusive behavior and passive-aggressive control. Just a note of encouragement: If I can do it, anyone can!
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